Susan is resting comfortably at home and sleeping a lot. I'm having the kids remember that even though she's at home, she's still a brain surgery patient who needs rest, needs help walking, and needs 24-hour supervision. They're great helpers and are doing their best to keep the noise down and the house clean.
Susan's dizziness seems to be more pronounced than last week. She's had vertigo since her first surgery – everything spins from left to right and seems tilted. It feels to her like a normal floor surface is inclined, so it's hard for her to keep her balance. We pray for relief.
It's time to admit I've been grumbling to myself this week in disappointment that God did not simply remove Susan's tumor in a miraculous act. I know He's able to heal and I fully expected Him to do so, which is the posture we're supposed to have. We're praying – everyone's praying – fervently. What more can we do? Nothing.
I'll accept that it's normal to feel let down and remember these circumstances are not centered on my feelings. Overall, Susan is having a remarkable post-op recovery. I am thankful for skilled medical specialists, for a smooth surgical procedure, and for Susan's improving condition. I'm really thankful she's home.
I happened to see our friends Jerry & Sheryl Vos at the grocery store last night, where we pondered God's sovereignty and the mystery of His will. We agreed that it's good He's in charge because He really knows what He's doing. If we could somehow make Him answer every prayer of ours just the way WE wanted Him to, we would mess up His perfect plans – plans that often include suffering and that are for our ultimate good. Now is the time to swallow hard and continue trusting our loving Father in heaven. As we held hands in Pavilions and Jerry prayed, I knew the love God provides for us in the Body of Christ. That's enough for now.
Sun 08/12/07
Psalm 3 has brought me comfort. Here is The Message version.
God! Look! Enemies past counting! Enemies sprouting like mushrooms, mobs of them all around me, roaring their mockery: "Hah! No help for him from God!"
But you, God, shield me on all sides; You ground my feet, you lift my head high; with all my might I shout up to God, His answers thunder from the holy mountain.
I stretch myself out. I sleep. Then I'm up again—rested, tall and steady, fearless before the enemy mobs coming at me from all sides.
Up, God! My God, help me! Slap their faces, first this cheek, then the other, Your fist hard in their teeth!
Real help comes from God. Your blessing clothes your people!
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