Susan was discharged from UCLA Med Center today after her 14-day hospitalization and will be taking antifungal medication indefinitely to counter meningitis. She's having mild to moderate pain from surgery to implant her lumbar shunt; but is otherwise strong and alert – and so glad to be home. We are so grateful and encouraged to have her home for Thanksgiving, an answer to our prayers. Next week, she'll resume her evaluation meetings next week with her in-home therapists, and have a scheduled visit with her neuro-oncologist.
I came across the Father's Day card Susan gave me in June, just days before the whole brain tumor event erupted. The text of the card says, "For My Husband – Today is for celebrating the wonderful father you are...and the terrific husband you continue to be (she writes "and you keep getting better!). Happy Father's Day with Love." Then she writes,
Mike, Over the course of this last year, life has seemed to change in our home.
I'm feeling upset with my housekeeping, but I don't seem to have the energy to
overcome it all. I have made up my mind to do my best to get back up to speed –
especially once we figure out this headache thing. I just want you to know how
thankful I am for who you are, and I appreciate you more than I could ever
explain. Things will improve, I promise! In the meantime, thank you for all you
do! Susan"
Aside from the poignancy of her words these months later, I am struck by just how much I love my wife. She's an exceptional person in so many ways, and the perfect companion for me. I love the quality of her character, and how even with all she's been through (and couldn't have known on Father's Day), she still has made up her mind to get back up to speed. What a woman.
Our Pastor Ken asked me to share in 3-4 minutes at our Thanksgiving services last week why I'm thankful to God. It was a powerful worship service and a privilege to be among God's people. Here are my comments.
Thanksgiving 2007
Susan was treated for breast cancer in 2006, an event that allowed us to revisit our priorities and draw us closer to God and to each other. We are thankful for that outcome. Since July of this year, she’s being treated for a malignant brain tumor, an event that has turned our lives upside down and left us wondering what is to come. In the span of only a few months, every area of our lives has been affected, and everything is different now. But in the midst of such upheaval, God has not changed. He is still God, he is still on his throne, and he is still good. He is still the Lord
and the giver of life. Life is his gift; and we thank him for it. The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, He leads me beside quiet waters, He restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for His name’s sake.
Learning that Susan’s type of brain tumor, called grade IV glioblastoma multiforme, does not offer a long life expectancy from a medical perspective, I realized this summer we may not grow old together like we thought we would. Then I realized that’s
always been true – anything can happen to any of us at any time, and sometimes
it does. We all are mortal. Eventually, either Susan or I will have to lay the
other down. God does not guarantee a long life, or a painless life, or a trouble-free life. What He does promise, though, is His presence. God Himself is with us – always. He will never leave us. It’s not in his nature. So we thank God for his presence. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for You are with me. Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
With life broken down to such a basic level, we are aware that God meets our needs each day – physically, mentally, financially, emotionally, and spiritually. The church, his body, is an awesome display of his compassion and provision for us. I don’t know how it works, but it seems whenever we have had a need, someone from church has been there. You are amazing people! Individuals and families have provided groceries, dinners, help with bills, gas cards, housecleaning, yard work, and relief
outings for our kids. We have received hundreds of greeting cards and emails,
and countless prayers that have carried us along. There are over 15 ladies who
volunteer to take turns on weekday shifts to be with Susan and help her with
therapy, allowing me time to work. Could we ever count the value of what you
have given? And could we ever thank you enough for it? You have been a lifeline
for us; and we thank you, and we thank God for you. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.
While we know that a malignant brain tumor is a menacing threat, we also know that with God, all things are possible. Glioblastoma is a name – but Jesus is the name above all names. The one thing that gets us through, the x-factor, the difference maker, is another gift – our hope in Christ. We stand with the three Hebrews who faced the fire and said “Our God is able to save us, he will save us; and if he doesn’t – we still trust him.” While we pursue the Lord for healing, he is meeting us in the
mystery of affliction with this amazing notion that in spite of our circumstances,
everything is ok. Even in the face of death, everything is ok. We have life in the Lord, and nothing can touch us. We are grateful for this hope, because without it, we would have crumbled a long time ago. Surely goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.
Wed 11/28/07
I brought Susan back to UCLA Med Center on Monday afternoon with another low-grade fever, persistent headache, and fatigue. She evidently has a urinary tract infection (now that's a new one) and is being treated with antibiotics. Meanwhile, the neuro staff are making adjustments to the valve in her l-p shunt to correct the flow of spinal fluid that drains into her body, a delicate balance. It looks like this hospital visit will be pretty routine and short-lived, thankfully. She may be discharged tomorrow.
Fri 11/30/07
Susan is home again after only a three-day hospital stay, thankfully. While early tests indicated she might have a urinary tract infection, the more complete tests were negative. Also, after several days of trying to adjust the magnetic valve in her lumbar shunt, the task proved too elusive for the neuro team, and they left well enough alone when Susan's symptoms improved. So, Susan had no new infection, and her fever, headache, and nausea gradually went away. The neuro team believes she may have caught a virus or something over the Thanksgiving holiday. At any rate, we're glad she's home.
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