Dogged by complications

Susan’s progress at rehab has been hampered by a return of all-too familiar symptoms – headache, fever, confusion and fatigue. She complained of a headache on Saturday for the first time in weeks, followed by a low-grade fever Saturday night and a more substantial 101°F on Sunday morning. These are signals that something’s wrong; but we don’t know exactly what. The problem all along has been these symptoms can have a variety of causes. Following two visits to UCLA this week for testing and chemo, we know of several issues. Her urinary tract infection has emerged again and will require more antibiotics. She has anemia, a low red blood cell count caused by chemo that causes great exhaustion and was treated yesterday with a blood-building medication. Also, she’s developed proteinuria, excessive protein in her system that affects kidney function and prevented her from receiving Avastin yesterday. And hydrocephalus still lurks and may be clouding the picture also – the staff at UCLA are trying to arrange an outpatient spinal tap instead of admitting her to the hospital for the procedure.
Meanwhile, Susan’s spirits continue to be good. Her positive outlook, gracious nature, and cooperative approach make an impression on her caregivers. I’m constantly amazed at her mental and spiritual strength in spite of her physical and cognitive weakness. Her champion attitude has been a tremendous help for her and those who help her. I’m grateful for and proud of my wife.

Being aware of God’s presence in our situation this past year with Susan’s brain cancer and just last week with Sharon Mott’s passing, I have pondered a powerful idea about God’s purposes in our seasons of suffering. How can He be the Comforter if we have no need of comfort? How can he show Himself to be our Healer if we have no need of healing? How can He become our Savior unless we know we need saving? These questions come with tears. There is a great mystery wrapped up in the nature of God (who is good) and the plight of man (who is proud and doesn’t always know he needs God). A miracle is nothing more than the intersection of God’s glorious provision at the point of our need.