Last night by the time Susan and I were driving to the store for Adam's birthday party, I had reminded her several times where we were going, where the kids were, and so on - basic "what's going on" stuff. She apologized repeatedly as a sullen mood took over, saying I had not married an idiot but was married to one now. I interrupted her with a reminder that she had no control over what's happened and encouraged her that she's doing the best she can. She just said she's so sorry she's putting me through all of this and she wishes she could be more helpful. I said how thankful I am that she's focused on doing the laundry each day because it's a vital need and was one of my major struggles when she was hospitalized. I'm glad she's motivated to wash and fold and needs very little help in doing it. Susan has been so strong and adaptable; this was a rare moment of discouragement. I reassured her that it's ok, I'll help her with whatever she needs, and we'll get through it together.
This morning as our friend and nurse on-call Alecia visited with Susan, they were talking about her condition in general and following this week's chemotherapy. Alecia has been a terrific resource to us with her experienced RN eyes and ears, and she's also a profound spiritual support. They shared a particular moment of grace as Susan commented on her poor vision and the frustration of limited sight. Then she pointed at her eyes and said, "But these aren't the most important eyes." Alecia asked what she meant. Sue said, "One thing I'm learning is that it's so much more important what you can see with your heart."
