Hospice, week 14

At 14 weeks on hospice care, Susan’s status seems strangely stable. She continues her trend of less eating and drinking with more sleeping and unresponsiveness. This week she wasn’t interested in food from Tuesday through Thursday, but finally ate a bit of applesauce yesterday morning.

When I spoke with her hospice nurse during yesterday’s visit, he said the human body is an amazing resource. Looking up to God, he said we’ve been given all we need to survive with the smallest amount of nourishment. He told me in spite of all that’s going against her, she has no infection, no skin breakdown, the meds and nutrition she needs – she’s doing perfectly.

We’re left to continue our surreal existence with Susan sort of living and sort of dying, attended by the peace of God. We’re in a place we don’t want and don’t want to be rid of; dealing with a situation we didn’t start and can’t stop and can’t speed up or slow down. We can’t control such circumstances, so we accept them. Knowing the Living God as we do, we have comfort in yielding to him.

The holiness of it is that a precious human life waits in the center of our situation – Susan, my wife, our kids’ Mom, others’ loved one. She’s precious to us and greatly precious to God. We’re all focused on her and attending to her needs and her comfort. The holiness of it means God is present with us during these days for his will, his good plans for us, and his glory in it. We recognize that and accept it, and we don’t need to know why it’s happening or what will happen next. It’s all so weird and hard and okay.

We thank God for his presence and for the support of a community who prays, visits, brings meals, and shows love in lots of ways.