Mostly stable

In her second week at home under hospice care, Susan is mostly stable. Depending on when you might visit, you may come away impressed that either she’s doing well or doing poorly. She’s not well oriented to time or place and still has lots of trouble finding words, but she continues to display remarkable grace and strength. Her hospice nurse, after noting her increased weakness since last week, commented how well she’s coping.

A few days ago, I asked her if she thinks she’s getting weaker or stronger. She said, “stronger.” If nothing else, her strength of will to overcome is phenomenal. This morning I asked her if she has peace (yes), if she’s happy (yes), if she has joy (yes), and if she’s worried (no). Since then, she’s slept most of the day after the return of severe headache and having pain meds. So it goes.

I arranged to return to the office three days a week and to work remotely from home the other two, though I’m clearing the way to take leave as needed. It’s been hard to balance work and home life such as it is; but I’m working it out.

We continue to be greatly encouraged and loved by our family and friends. People express their care in so many meaningful ways, with delicious meals, heartfelt cards, lovely flowers, and warm visits. I know so much of our peace comes from so many prayers. I find the Lord to be a particularly worthy refuge, as he has assured us he’ll be. All of God’s promises that he’s with us, that he saves and heals us, that he protects us; that  our lives are wrapped up in his have taken on new significance now. Our journey has been really hard and recently became harder; but we thank God for bearing us through it.