Brain mapping and reckoning

Fri 07/27/07
Susan and I went to UCLA Brain Mapping Center for a 10am functional MRI scan. Susan wore headphones and video goggles for interaction while they mapped her brain for areas of speech, motor control, memory, etc.
We went back to Long Beach at 1:45pm to meet with Dr Sonne about Susan's abdominal pain. Her liver, kidneys, and other internal organs look ok, which was my concern. We still don't know the cause of her pain, but it's diminished somewhat, she has no fever; and her blood work is fine.

On the way to UCLA on the 405 freeway near Culver City, we passed the Spanish-language Univision studio with its small forest of 10-12 large satellite dishes on a rooftop. They are arrayed in various directions to send and receive signals at a number of different points in the sky. There are so many dishes up there; I wonder how many communications satellites they're NOT able to access. I thought of my capacity to listen to God. How many "satellite dishes" have I installed on my rooftop? Do I have the sky covered to receive every signal God is sending? Have I learned to listen when he speaks? Am I paying enough attention? Or are my receivers pointed elsewhere to worthless noise?
As I lay on the floor to stretch next to the bed Friday night, our Jack Russell Terrier named Daisy lay faithfully at the foot of the bed just like she does every night. Since I was on the floor and accessible, Jesse the cat approached me. Daisy gave her a low growl. (They have established a working truce that is challenged by occasional skirmishes, mostly friendly. It helps Jesse that she outweighs the dog by about 5 pounds.) I called Jesse over to show her some attention and Daisy stood down the guard. If the alpha male (me, thank you) wants to entertain a vile species, will the dog prevent it?
I thought of the angels that two people have seen near Susan in their visions, and how they're probably always watching over us with unseen power on our behalf. Hebrews 1:14 says, "Are not all angels ministering spirits sent to serve those who will inherit salvation?" Psalm 91:11 says, "For He will command His angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways." How many times has an angel raised his sword in my defense when a foul tempter comes my way – only to have me accept the offer to sin, invite evil to approach and spend a while with it? I realize our sovereignty is one way we are like God. For some reason, He allows us to make self-destructive decisions whenever we want to, I think because He wants us also to be free to give Him our hearts out of that same sovereignty. I wouldn't want to spend eternity with someone I forced to be there, either.

Sat 07/28/08
I woke up and reckoned with the idea that I don't know if my dearest loved one will be alive on this earth in 6 months. Then I realized that's true of everyone.