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Sunday, July 15, 2007

Regaining awareness

Wed 07/11/07
Susan still unable to remember she had surgery or why, but now remembers she's at LBMMC.
We had a family meeting with Dr. Ceverha, who said lab results of tissue from surgery are likely a high-grade oligodendroglioma, a stage 3 tumor that is responsive to radiation and chemotherapy. The sample is being sent to the Mayo Clinic to confirm. We will meet with a neurosurgeon at Cedars-Sinai this week for his opinion.
Susan's memory is improving. She knows she's missing something, that there's activity going on that she's unaware of, and she knows it – but she can't connect things together. I encouraged her that these are normal feelings, that she's been through a lot; she's making progress and will continue to improve.
Visual impairment – unable to decipher items on bulletin board 12 feet away, unable to recognize large letters/numbers on a greeting card or identify colors of pink robe or blue bed pad.

Thu 07/12/07
We've been reading a devotional each night in Streams in the Desert, a gift from our dear friend Lisa Korver. Each one seems to be written just for us. The 7/12 theme is faith – the strongest trees are not found in the forested valleys under the protection of surrounding mountains. They're formed on the hilltops under the full force of wind and storms. In my one shot at life, I would rather be made strong in faith than stay comfortable and soft. Otherwise, why bother? God shows us His favor by giving us seasons of testing. Suffering is another precious gift that allows us to know Him as in no other way. I will never regret what has happened.

Fri 07/13/07
I was awakened at 3am for prayer and worship. Deep stuff. The term "purchase-living" came to me with Colossians 1:22-23, that we have been reconciled "by Christ's physical body through death to present you holy in his sight, without blemish and free from accusation — if you continue in your faith, established and firm, not moved from the hope held out in the gospel." The word "confidence" came with the image of the Lamb that was slain in Revelation 5, along with the image of the Passover lamb in Exodus 12:3 that required an act of faith for deliverance. A mystery: the work is done for us – with our involvement. I also compared "oligodendroglioma" vs "Jesus, name above all names." Like I said, 3am, deep stuff.
After a sobering meeting with a neurosurgeon at Cedars-Sinai, Randy Romberg, Vicki Gelberg and I wrestled with Susan's limited prognosis. Here is what I know:

  • God is in all of this. It's on display; and many people are experiencing it with us. Something really good is coming.
  • We are to speak words of life. I push back fear and despair when they approach.
  • I resolve to stand with the three Hebrew men in Daniel 3 (above), trusting and believing God for Susan's healing amid the mystery of His sovereign will.
Sat 07/14/07
Susan continues neurological improvement, feeling more with it and acting more like Susan. Some facts are just not there, while other things come back amazingly. She was eating peas with dinner and finished my rhyme from long ago, "I eat my peas with honey, I've done it all my life; they do taste kind of funny, but it keeps them on my knife." Pretty cool.

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