Biding our time until Wednesday

Today was another day of basic functioning for Susan – sleeping (a lot of it), eating, bathing, etc. We are biding our time until her shunt adjustment on Wednesday. I am absolutely counting on her present symptoms being related to hydrocephalus and being relieved once the shunt valve is adjusted. I’m also expecting her mind to clear and her strength to return so she can begin rehab once again. Without such a turnaround, I can’t see her making much progress. She’ll have a lot of work to do. Meanwhile, we trust the Lord and wait.

We missed church yesterday. After we were showered, dressed, breakfasted, morning-medicated, and once again impossibly late, Susan didn’t have the strength for it. I made the decision to stay home while we sat at the kitchen table. I suggested we read some selections from Streams in the Desert we’d missed recently so we could at least devote our hearts toward God for a little while. The entry for June 29 pierced my heart. I began weeping as I read. When I finished, I broke down sobbing as I lay my head in Susan’s lap. The weight of what she’s going through, what I’m going through, and what we’re going through (so much of these are separate things) – the weight of it all broke me down. It’s all so much. At once, something beautiful happened. Susan consoled me. She moaned an understanding “Ohhhh,” and rocked and patted my head in her lap. Even in her diminished state, my wife comforted me like she always has when I’m having a hard time. Her care for me was instantly and deeply satisfying. She helped me uncap and let the fizz out. I felt better right away.
As for what I had read, I can’t describe it. For me, its truth went deep and nailed me. If you’d like to read it yourself, here it is: "There We Saw the Giants."